Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
