I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Randomize
