u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just want to make out with him forever
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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