what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
