it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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