also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So much Jack, so little girl.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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