Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
so much tequila, so little girl.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize