saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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