I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
tequila makes me forget i have legs
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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