Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
