I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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