Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Randomize