yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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