she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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