I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
