Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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