When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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