THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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