Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
