i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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