I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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