Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i out mim tonsoeep
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