OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
