Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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