i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
