So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
as a side note pls kill me
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
