I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
