So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
i out mim tonsoeep
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
