her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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