She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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