Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
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Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
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Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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