all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize