We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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