We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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