were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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