Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
