Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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