Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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