Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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