dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
