I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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