Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
