I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
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Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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