I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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