I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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