My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
