I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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