i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
