This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I need a burrito and a hug.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
