I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
