im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
