i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
