He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
