these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
