ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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