good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
