The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
