If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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