i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
