question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
