I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
How's work?
Spinning.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
