It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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